In some ways, wandering in the desert

I had probably been shouting my argument but then again so was she Straw men were easily constructed and demolished , swaying no one. "What could possibly happen to make you think that was OK?" was my final question. It was the 60's she said shrugged, turned back to the book she had been originally torn from by my shouting at the TV. The Zeitgeist she offered as an apology or justification had passed into lore before I was born. leaving me trying to remember the only Dylan song I knew.

The row on row of IBM Selectrics clacking the smell is still with me hanging like the memory of disappointment 3rd period typing. The dot com bubble still a decade or more away why the hell would I want to learn to type? I wanted to be a boss not a slave. To be young again.

walking along the concourse Admiring the late spring sunshine dappled along shapely forms young women in sun dresses Then, it occurs to me that the few smiling back do so only because they see their grandfather whistling along with only momentary guilt

Front lawns required time, labor, and money They were meant to be remote and awe inspiring. They obscure as well as protect. Which was where they waited. Ambush. a painful memory, a small hole, a wound in the grass filled with them. Laughing and chasing bubbles, then pain and screaming. Grandmother held me down, crushed them as they stung me. Inside my clothes, you could not simply brush them off. Later, she burned them. She taught me how to do it. You wait until night, when air and ground are cool when they are sluggish Use Kerosene. it does not explode like gas. You'll need a rag. Walk softly for they can feel vibrations. She smiled, her bony finger pointed at the burned out grass "Those ones will not hurt you again. But be careful, there may be more. I bought extra kerosene." all of it came back to me I crushed them burrowing into the dogs coat. I could not simply brush them off. From a distance, it looked like he was dancing. My wife

I thought I saw you.   on Belmont and happy. A beautiful woman on your arm you were always with someone on your arm never on an arm yourself. We went to college together or rather, you and I lived four years in that same small town   a subtle but important difference I was never in love with you  more like in Awe with you     afraid Icarus' dutiful brother Charismatic doesn't cover it, you were,  I was/am in awe Everyone was in awe. Jealously, the dutiful sister of Awe you asked me if you were a bad person just because he said you were. That ungrateful man-child who shared your bed.   He said it, cruelly and you asked me if he was right asked the question like you didn't know  you were a goddess adored.   I did not try to make you feel better. A coward.   I can't apologize for that now,   everyone is gone but me.       I can only hope you have forgotten I do.  I'm sorry. I thought I saw you on

It was, you were right, a sparrow's song. Of course I knew you'd been gone for years where did you go? I had, as you know, gone nowhere or rather went with me wherever I went but you you left us both. I will likely never forgive you or myself. I'm sorry. Please come home.